Sojourn, Crossing the Wilderness of Grief

                        Sojourn, Crossing the Wilderness of Grief
 
Do black holes exist, massive gravity wells that consume everything in profound annihilation? In this broken world I think black holes must real. A black hole isn’t just out there in space; it’s right here—it’s grief, a massive gravity well sucking everything in. Light, energy, beauty—life itself. What could be a more apt description of grief than a black hole?
 
Astronomers say there is a supermassive black hole in the center of our galaxy called Sagittarius A*. Theoretically, black holes are created when supergiant stars die, when they can no longer sustain the nuclear fusion that stabilizes them. At that point, their stellar material collapses, imploding into an infinitely dense point. A singularity is created—a singular existence because of a massive implosion of matter, of dreams, bonds, love. Life is no longer stable. 
 
Grief’s destructive force is on the same order as a black hole, its devastation on the life of faith sometimes as irrevocable. But, the Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.[1] The law of the Spirit of Life is stronger than any collapse, even collapse into grief through devasting loss.
 
Recently, a colleague and I spoke about faith—or rather the reason he had turned away from faith. He had lost a baby girl to cancer, a terrible loss. He had been a man of faith before that, had even considered the priesthood. But then, in the desperate sorrow of losing a child, he set his face against God because he believed God had taken his little girl’s life.
 
“We have a choice,” my good friend Judy told me recently. We have a choice in how to respond to grief. In grief, do we raise a fist to heaven the way my colleague did? Or do we bow the knee and worship, accepting the comfort of Jesus, Man of sorrow and acquainted with grief?
 
My friend Judy lost her dear husband Paul two years ago. Judy and Paul, long-time members of my life group, always served Jesus, Paul with his big heart, big smile, and dashing cowboy boots, Judy with her generous spirit, deep wisdom, and effervescent wit. They showed us all what true sojourning faith is like. 
 
Now, Judy ministers in the chaplaincy program at our local hospital. She prays with patients, plays music on her phone app for them, supports those undergoing biopsies, and prays with families who are going through the grieving process. Her experience with Paul gives her special insights into ministering to deep needs of the heart. 
 
But in the process of ministering to others, the Lord ministers to Judy as well. “I meet with people so I can bless them,” she said, “but the blessing I receive from them is far greater.” 
 
Fist to heaven? Or knee bowed in worship? “We have a choice.”
The sojourner worships, walks by faith in the Savior’s company. 
 
[1] Romans 8:2 NKJV
[2] II Samuel 12:16-23.